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Imperfections Behind a Smile

by - Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Many may not believe this or maybe it's something that have never crossed their mind about me, but I have those moments when I doubt myself. 

What I mean is, there are times when my self-confidence is so low that it's hard for me to accept who I am.

I'm not entirely perfect . 
In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm miles away from being one.

I can be all smiles and cheerful when I want to, but I'm just like everyone else.

I can be so strong, that I feel like I don't ever need to depend on others but myself.
But there are times when I can be at my most vulnerable.

I've made a lot mistakes in the past and now, some are alright to let go and forget, but others? 

It's difficult for them to leave. Some mistakes hurt others that I love and that's what make it all too painful to get over with.

These mistakes and imperfections have come to stay and leave their searing mark so I'd always remember them.

But I always forget.

Like others, I want to become better. I want to not make the same careless mistakes again and again, so others won't get hurt. I want to give myself a chance to accept who I am.

But it never happens. 

They'll come back. They always do. And the whole thing will happen again.

And when it does, I have to start from square one and find reasons whether to stick up for me and my imperfections, or not.

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