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Secrets to Being Happier & Letting Go of Expectations

by - Thursday, September 07, 2017


As an enthusiastic twenty-ish university student, I am constantly meeting expectations that are often at times feel like they're being bombarded at me. While there is a number that I can manage and fulfill, there are still many others that I can't or maybe would take a longer time to achieve. I think you know where I'm going with this and if you do, I'll take you step by step in the context that I'm trying to build up for today's blog post. 



WHAT ARE EXPECTATIONS?

First, let's look at what expectations mean for us. I won't go into complicated jargon because in a way, we already have a vague understanding of what it is. And since that is the case, I'll help to visualise it for us. Think of you sitting on a comfy sofa at one part of your living room, thinking of what you'll be doing the next day. 

In my case, I'm the sort of person who likes to keep herself extremely busy and so, I sometimes list out tasks or goals that I would be thrilled to cross out once I've done them. For example, obtaining a dean list every semester, joining as many events or contests that I can, and etcetera. Who has done something like that before? But anyway, as we are thinking of the goals we are expecting to achieve, we tend to forget that reality isn't always on our side, as unfortunate as it is to admit.




And here is where the problem lies.

Setting expectations isn't a bad thing. It helps to keep us being productive because we're always on the move to achieve the next big thing. Personally, it disintegrates all sense of laziness that has taken my soul and urges me to get a move on to improve in my self-development. However, as mentioned in The Huffington Post and Psychology Today, standardising our expectations as a must to do thing can lead to disappointment and frustration. And this is especially if these objectives are made in par with someone else's and not meeting our self-interests and capabilities. 


My point here is:
1) We sometimes tend to set up ideas that are too out of reach for us to achieve

OR

 2) We don't know how to deal with expectations made for us from others. 

Letting them whirl in our mind too much can lead to our next biggest fear; disappointment. Just as I've mentioned earlier, disappointment with ourselves or blaming on others, or even better, fate itself, is usually derived from our failure at planning our expectations from the very beginning. Just as it is with hitching a new business idea, including obstacles in achieving our goals can actually help us to not hit ourselves too hard when things don't go our way. 

Then again, not setting ANY expectations in fear of disappointment goes the same way.

Practicing moderation in the things we set out to do for can be our solution to face this growing dilemma. Remember, your body isn't completely your own (meaning the capabilities that you possess) because let's face it, it has its days when it just doesn't want to go along with what we want to do, and life has its ups and downs for everyone. We simply don't have complete control of the factors to attain or meet all of our expectations. 

THE MAGICAL SOLUTION?

My dear readers, just as this is a reminder to myself, we can only attain peace if we focus on how to roll with the flow. Meaning, instead of cowering in the shadows of disappointment or restricting ourselves too much from thinking of other potential possibilities, it's always better to have a strategy in surviving today's environment.

Basically, drop any hints of chasing after perfection and let go of controlling your life. I always remind myself over and over to not be my own prisoner. It's practically lethal to my development and progress in being a better person that I can be proud of. Wanting perfection isn't so bad in some sense, but it does distort your vision from acknowledging who you are as a person - a decent human being with his or her own strengths and weaknesses.

Love yourself!



Thanks for dropping by!

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